I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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