You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
