I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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