Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
