I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
