Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So vagazzling was a success
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