Say something about gay babies.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
