ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize