You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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