Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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