you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
