If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize