i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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