im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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