i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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