I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
