so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
