He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
