I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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