So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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