Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
