I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
