I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
