I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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