she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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