My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
