absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
