worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That accounts for only three of the penises
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize