You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
