I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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