We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
