oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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