my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
