ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
