That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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