I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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