just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
