shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
