Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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