so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize