I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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