After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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