pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
