i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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