Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
