Quick, to the slutcave!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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