She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
