arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
