her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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