that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
