I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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