I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
