Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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