yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
