Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
false alarm, still single
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize