lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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