i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
MIDGETS
????
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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