What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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