Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
