that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
