That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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