the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
